Planning for beyond the wedding day..

Sometimes it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of wedding planning that we forget what we’re really planning.  Remember you are preparing for much more than just a wedding day – you are preparing for a lifetime as husband and wife.  So much focus and energy is spent on choosing the exact perfect flowers, with the exact shade of linens, but absolutely no time is spent preparing for the many days that will follow.  With that in mind, owner of Once Upon A Time Weddings, Erin Bouchard has put together a list of great date ideas to do with your fiancé before you head down the aisle to get you discussing important topics and to help prepare for beyond the wedding day.

  1. Go apple picking.  This is one of my personal favourite things to do this time of year.  Find a farm and head out to pick some apples together.  Then bake a yummy apple pie, make applesauce or apple crisp together and enjoy the wonderful fall season.  While doing so, talk about some of your family’s fall traditions and which ones you would want to incorporate as you begin your married life.

  2. Watch the sunset together.  Sometimes we get so busy that we forget to look at the beauty all around us.  So grab a bottle of wine, a blanket and head outside to watch the sunset.  Talk about when you first knew you loved your fiancé.  Tell him what it is that you love most about him now.

  3. Take a cooking class together.  Afterwards talk about who will do the cooking and how you’ll share the household responsibilities once you’re married.  Talk about how you’ll deal with any frustrations that may arise over sharing those responsibilities or managing the household.

  4. Spend the day thrifting for sweet finds for your house.  Have a little competition to see who can find the coolest item.  Afterwards have a look at your budget and discuss your finances – who will be the main person to look after your finances after the wedding and who will make decisions about how much to spend versus save or on big purchases.  Discuss what you will do if there are disagreements in regards to finances.   Remember fighting over finances is the number one reason couples say is the main factor of divorce.

  5. Work out together.  Go for a long hike or work out at your local gym.  Afterwards discuss how you will find balance after your married.  How will you balance couple time with hanging out with your own friends?  How will you share family holidays with both sets of inlaws?  If you have kids or once you have kids how will you balance having time for yourself while raising a family?

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While doing some research for this blog, I came across an interesting statistic that said that 45% of those people interviewed who were divorce stated that unrealistic expectations were a big reason they got divorced.  Life is not a fairy tale or a romantic movie.  Marriage takes work, hard work.  It’s a renewed decision every day to love and honor your spouse.  Even when you don’t feel like it.  Even when it’s hard.  Even when you think his mother is half crazy. Even when the kids need so much of your attention.  We get married and we expect it to be wonderful.  Expect our husbands to be our knight in shining armor.  Expect that we’ll always be the loving, doting woman he fell in love with.  But life is hard & busy.  We have to make a hundred conscious decisions every day to love, honor & cherish even when it’s hard or we’re busy.  If we can learn to live & love like that, the rewards are great.