This week I had the opportunity to meet Rachel Hollis, the author of “Girl Wash Your Face”. I read the book a couple of months ago and it was so good. The premise of the book is that there are so many lies that we as women believe. Things such as, “we’re not good enough” and “something else will make me happy”. It’s a powerful read and I strongly encourage every woman to read it.
This got me thinking about all the lies that brides believe when they are planning their wedding.
1. You have to have your friend in the wedding, because you were in theirs
Friendships change over the years. Just because you stood up in a friend’s wedding doesn’t mean they have to stand up in yours. Choose those friends or family members that you think will be in your life in five, ten, fifteen years from now. You want to make decisions for your wedding that are best for you + your fiancé and not just out of obligation. You could always consider another role for them, like doing a reading, singing a song or being the MC for the night!
2. You can’t wear white or ivory if it’s your second wedding
Girls, I literally hear this all the time. Or I can’t wear white because we already have children. The tradition of white wedding gowns was that brides who could afford to keep a white dress clean wore white. It’s actually a symbol of wealth rather than purity. Somewhere along the way people started associating purity with the white wedding gown. Like many wedding traditions, people don’t follow that. Wear whatever colour looks best on you and don’t worry about what others think.
3. I’ll for sure lose weight before the wedding
Friends, this is a hard one. Wedding planning is so stressful and different brides react differently to that stress. While we have certainty seen some brides lose a significant amount of weight before their wedding, most brides have way too much else to do. Losing a lot of weight requires a change in your both your diet + your exercise. It’s a significant project to take on while in the middle of wedding planning. So be realistic about how much you think you can lose and remember that your fiancé proposed to you at the exact weight you were then!
4. Planning the guest list will be easy
This will likely be one of your hardest tasks while wedding planning. First you have to figure out whose coming. You’ll need to decide if you’re inviting kids, cousins, and more! You’ll have to figure out how to cut people without offending them, your parents or your fiancé parents. And then you’ll chase people down for RSVP’s even though you made it so easy for them to let you know if they’re coming. When you think it can’t get any more frustrating then you’ll have to make the decisions of who sits where. My advice? Elope. No, just kidding! My advice is to work at it a little at a time. And remember, it’s you and your fiancé against the problem of the guest list. Not you against your fiancé. Work together, communicate lots and keep a good supply of wine on hand!
5. I can do it all myself
“You can do everything, but you can’t do it all in one season” – Rachel Hollis. This so applies to your wedding planning. You might be capable of doing a lot yourself. You may, in the beginning even love wedding planning. But we weren’t put on this earth to do everything ourselves. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to even delegate some of the tasks to others. While you may wish to have done a lot of wedding planning yourself, you also don’t want to arrive at the day of your wedding, so exhausted and overwhelmed that you can’t enjoy any of it. Accepting help along the way will make it more enjoyable and less stressful.
Wedding planning should be fun and exciting. If it becomes not fun or exciting, learn to take a break. Go out with your fiancé and don't discuss the wedding. Go do something to take care of yourself.
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